Ramblings Of An Inane Fool
by Euphoric Fool
Summary: Shigure is bored. Very bored.


**Ramblings of An Inane Fool**

Rating: T for some sexual innuendo, suggestiveness. Some implied (if you wish it to be) shounen-ai/yaoi.

Summary: Shigure is bored. Very bored.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even a scratch. So begone!

_Author's Notes_

This is utterly pointless but it was fun to write. . Also, this is also my first attempt at sarcasm and humour.

All kind of criticism accepted.

* * *

Feet resting on the desk, right hand holding a cigarette with a smoky, whitish foam coming from its tip and his head cocked dramatically towards the wall, Shigure does not look particularly employed. Actually, one could say that he never really looks _busy_-Shigure is not the sort of man to dirty his hands with work. He likes to observe things while other people do work or screw things up. _He_ prefers to busy himself mentally by imagining things of various sorts- he is a passionate philosopher. Or a wannabe philosopher.

In fact, he only looks-plainly speaking-bored. Having finished writing his novel a while ago, Shigure has nothing better to do but stare inquiringly at the fascinating wall. There is nothing else do to for his computer crashed recently, Mi-chan is at the hospital (due to a mental breakdown) and everyone else has left the house. It seems as if his housemates literally feared being left alone with him. Shigure often wonders why. He wonders why an intelligent and pleasant man like him could be frightening. In the end, he decides that they are idiots for not comphrending how glorious he is.

Although he would never admit it, being alone bothers Shigure slightly; he likes being with people because it makes him forget his own problems. Well, if he thinks about it, that is slightly wrong because he does not have any problems. Instead he likes to cause problems; he is a self-confessed sadist. However, at the moment there is no one here and Shigure amuses himself by continuing to stare at the highly enthralling wall- a large slab of stone, carved into a rectangular shape.

Interestingly, this proves to be an amusing occupation because counting the various holes-courtesy of Kyo- and spots on the wall is rather interesting; Maths was Shigure's favourite subject at school. Even now, he still likes to count things and imagine the world in numbers- numbers that one can manipulate easily by subtracting and adding. Over and over again.

It is a predictable subject that bears no surprises, if one understands it. People cannot be understood easily and this makes it difficult to "tamper" with their minds. He stares at the wall and sighs, imagining how much easier his life would be if people were less complex.

However, after a while, his brain seems to overwork itself and he grows dizzy: he starts seeing purple dots spiralling and twisting to and fro. Needless to say, he decides to do something else. Only, he doesn't seem to know what. Surely, he could just stand up, open a drawer from his "secret" cupboard and indulge himself in that wonderful activity that is reading porn. Porn is like a medicine and helps one to become ecstatic in a few moments; sometimes it is the only thing that Shigure wakes up for in the morning. Well, aside from making lewd comments and playing tricks on his oblivious charges, who might not be quite as dense as he wishes to believe.

Sadly, he is far too lazy to bother standing up; he prefers to remain in that comfortable position. Besides, he has drooled over these scantily-clad ladies more than once before; their seemingly inviting gaze-promising mischief-has become rather odious to him. He prefers to fanaticise about _certain _other people instead and imagines what undressing them would be like. For example, there is that young lady, who often cleans his room and brightens the atmosphere with her cheerful smile. And her dangerously short skirts- he curses the fact that he never gets an "eyeful". It would make him so happy; he would willingly die for such happiness.

Deciding against reading porn, Shigure starts pondering over a few things in his life: his awe-inspiring good looks, his literary brilliance and the idiocy of his housemates. He has to admit to himself that his existence has become a lot better ever since Tohru came into their lives. Not to say, that his life was bad before he met her, it was just not as comfortable as now. After all, Shigure didn't have anyone to cheer him up or cook splendid meals for him; Yuki, his cousin, was not much of a companion for several reasons. Or let us say, for many reasons. If he thinks about it, the list of reasons is too long to be worth mentioning.

Yet he still decides to name a few reasons.

Besides being a disastrously bad cook, his cousin had or still has the habit to possess a murderous disposition in the morning; however, thanks to their aforementioned housekeeper things have subsided quite a bit. Otherwise he would have been reduced to a rotting corpse by now, Shigure shudders involuntarily at that thought. He does not enjoy the thought of being degraded to a skeletal being.

His life has become very quiet now. And is wonderfully stable.

Not quite though, because Kyo, a boy with a ferocious temper, still tends to stir up trouble once in a while. Aside from smashing _immeubles_, he also possesses the talent of using the most eloquent and poetic expressions.

"You stupid a''hole" would be a fitting example. Besides he seems to enjoy the company of his cousin a little too much and constantly picks up fights with him.

Yes, life has become far more entertaining for him; the only thing that bothers Shigure is that he is often forced to pay loads of money for repairs and plaster- he gets kicked in the head very often. He must say, that his housemates are very violent beings. Much too violent for his delicate tastes. Indeed, his life has become very eventful. A tad bit too eventful.

Not that it was boring before, his companion and beautiful "temptress" Ayame, whom he lovingly calls Aya, often made and still makes his day more than beautiful. There is no one, who makes him smile more than his dutiful and passionate Aya.

A man with shining long hair and a slender, elegant frame, Aya is a real blessing and often knows how to create a pleasurable atmosphere. Come to think of it, Shigure suddenly realises how he shall end his boring day: he will invite his friend over. He knows how much the others will appreciate that, too. Especially Yuki, who adores his brother with a passion of a thousand burning suns.

Yes, he shall make everybody feel very, very happy. Especially himself.

Besides, he needs to "relieve himself" of the stress that staring at a wall has caused; Aya knows what makes Shigure more than relaxed. And while Shigure suddenly jumps on his feet and dials a well-memorized phone number, his over-active imagination practically overheats itself with various images of his companion's pleasure-giving consolations. Yes, he shall definitely look forward to seeing his beloved friend again. His boredom is going to be over very soon.

_Owari_


End file.
